Ho'shit.

So, despite my better judgment, I started catching up on the Naruto manga chapters (WTF?! Did they really release 100+ chapters since the last time I read it?! Fu...ck.)

Yeah. This is what I like to call my "last resort of procrastination." If I can't find anything interesting to read, I result to watching/reading from a series I know that will never end, namely Bleach or Naruto. I kind of/sort of/not really caught up on Bleach episodes... I forgot which manga chapter I left on though, so I didn't bother trying to figure it out yet.

Naruto, on the other hand, I haven't read for years. (No, seriously. It's been years.) Yeah, first off, I'm going to warn you of spoilers in case, for some masochistic reason, you decide to read/watch Naruto with its 300+ episodes and its 400+ manga chapters, you decide to take up this series and suffer over the dumbfuckery of the series. So don't read past this point if you don't like spoilers because I got a shitload of Harry Potter spoilers when I was on Youtube because of those damn comments people left. It made me so pissed that I actually read the last 2 books just so it wouldn't be spoiled for me anymore. It was kind of worth it, but for some reason the ending kind of made me mad. I don't know.

ANYWAY. SPOILERS FOR NARUTO MANGA CH.310 AND UP START HERE!!!! PLUS ALL THE RANTING I HAVE TO DO ABOUT THE SERIES IN GENERAL!!!!!!

Woo... let's get this show on the road.

So, apparently, Kabuto is still a dumbass. Why the hell are you Orochimaru's bitch even after he's gone? OK, so maybe he's not gone because, apparently, Kabuto (a.k.a. The Dumbass) decided to take it upon himself to instill part of Orochimaru in himself after Sasuke defeated him using sharingan (YES. SASUKE DEFEATED THE BASTARD! ...Kind of...) Anyway, details aren't really important. It looks like Orochimaru's "essence" or whatever has taken over 1/3 of Kabuto's body so far, it's only a matter of time before he becomes completely engulfed in that snakey bastard and that pale pedophile comes back to life. Again. Will we never get rid of him????

After that, 3 Akatsuki members die. Deidara (FINALLY. HOLY SHIT. I HATE THAT GUY.), Hidan, and Kazuku(?)... Kakuzu... something like that. Whatever. Deidara dies finally. I'm was so fucking happy I jumped for joy. Sasuke kills him (ククククク・・・), Hidan gets "killed" by Shikamaru (him and his tactics lol), and the Kazuku-whatever guy gets defeated by Naruto and company. Yay.

We finally get down to the whole Itachi VS Sasuke showdown around chapter 380 or so. I was thinking it would drag on for the next 50 chapters, seeing as how Naruto battles always take up at least 20 to complete (like, really, you can read every 20th chapter and still understand the fucking story.) Good thing it didn't though. But we realize **OKAY THIS IS SUPER HUGE SPOILER ABOUT UCHIHA SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW IT, DON'T READ BEYOND THIS POINT, YEAH? YEAH** that Itachi is actually a *gasp* good guy and he really was the nice, big brother that we all thought he was in the beginning. So, it turns out the past 400+ chapters of us thinking that Itachi was a bastard was wrong. I swear, I literally yelled "WTF?!!" at my computer when I found out. I was so mad... Not only that, but after the big battle between Itachi and Sasuke, Itachi gives Sasuke his mangekyou abilities. And, it turns out, THERE IS STILL ONE OTHER UCHIHA LEFT BESIDES SASUKE! And his name is Mandara. If you remember those big statues of that one waterfall where Naruto and Sasuke battled it out like... 200 episodes ago or something... Uh, yeah, it's that dude that fought the first Hokage. ANYWAY, he's alive. He's planning on using Sasuke and the idiot, er... I mean Sasuke, is allowing himself to be used. Yet again. And having the mangekyou (you know, the eye thing that's like sharingan except more awesome that Itachi had and now has given Sasuke) actually turns the user blind eventually, so the only way to prevent blindness is to take the eyes of someone with sharingan (I think that's how it works). Yeah, Mandara did that to his younger brother a long time back, so now he has a permanent mangekyou. And Itachi had lead Sasuke to believe that that was the reason why he kept Sasuke alive (to steal his eyes. Ew. gross.), though he planned the battle out too and already knew he was going to die for Sasuke and give him his abilities. (I love you Itachi!!! You're such a good person...) So, even though Sasuke learned the truth from Mandara (who helped Itachi kill off the Uchiha clan before), the little brat is going to destroy Konoha, but not until he "helps" Akatsuki get the last 2 jinchuuriki. OMG. SASUKE, YOU FUCKING IDIOT. Oh, and the reason why he's going to destroy Konoha is because Konoha is the reason his clan was sent to death in the first place. Itachi had been a spy and was given the mission of killing off his clan. Yeah, some stupid political shit that I didn't pay attention to, though the 4th Hokage was the only one that was against it. Itachi, however, carried out his mission, though he wasn't able to kill his younger brother who we all know to be Sasuke. So, even though Sasuke knows now the true reason why his clan died, he's going to take his revenge on Konoha, which will totally render all the work that Itachi has been doing up until now pointless. Yeah, great way to honor your brother's death, you fucking idiot. If only Mandara hadn't told him the truth... if only...

Oh, and Sasuke has a gang of his own! Juugou (the original source of the "cursed seal" that Orochimaru used to experiment on his subjects and the same thing that affects Sasuke), Karin (a good chakra sensor... and... I haven't figured out what else she does. But Sasuke bites her and he gets saved? WHAT? I don't know), and Suigetsu who... is from the Hidden Village of Mist... and... yeah. Not much known, either that or I didn't pay attention.

On the Akatsuki side, we have this chick that turns into paper (I forgot her name), and this guy that goes by the name of "Pain." Incidentally, he's the leader of Akatsuki (though I'm thinking Mandara might be the real leader) and he used to be Jiraiya's pupil a long time ago and now he has grown up off "the pain of others," as he likes to put it. Yeah, a real nutcase. But he kills Jiraiya since he has some super-cool abilities, I totally forgot... like Rin'naigan or something... Shit. Japanese words just don't like me for some reason. But yeah, Jiraiya dies (if you don't remember who he is, he's that pervert sage that trained Naruto to do the "rasengan"). Oh, speaking of rasengan, Naruto learns a new jutsu! That's actually how he defeated that Kakuzu guy before, BUT (yes, there's always a "but") it takes a huge toll on Naruto's body since he can't handle it. It's kind of cool though. It's like rasengan, but a more deadly version. Apparently it attacks the user thousands of times(?) and acts like some kind of poison. The only problem is 1) it takes a toll on the user and 2) it is only a close-range attack which means Naruto would have to be right next to the person to administer the blow. Much like rasengan... except more powerful. So yeah, it still kind of sucks (give Naruto long-range jutsus dammit!), but Naruto is kind of growing up.

No sight of Gaara yet. Maybe he won't be in the manga anymore (oh, god. I think I'm going to cry. He's my favorite... even before he turned into a good guy and was just some crazyass killer with a split personality). Actually, they haven't mentioned anything about the Sand-nin for a while... maybe they're never coming back...

Anyway, I stopped at ch. 413 even though they've released up until 30 or something. So, if any of this information turns out to be wrong because of some stupidass twist that is bound to happen in the next 17 or so chapters, I apologize for misleading you. I started getting a little ticked off by the direction shit was going, so I'm just going to take a break until I feel like procrastinating again.

So, there it is...

Moral of the story: Naruto is still Naruto, Sasuke is still being a dumbass (although he's gotten way hot), Akatsuki still has the upperhand (those bastards!), Orochimaru is alive somewhat (we're never going to be rid of that shithead pedophile), Ino has crappy moves still (did she not learn anything new?), and Uchiha Itachi was a good guy all this time. Awesome.

Edit: Is it Mandara or Madara? Ugh. Fuck it. I'll find out later.